Why “Letting Go” Is A Fallacy

(… and is keeping you in unnecessary loops of powerlessness 🤦🏼‍♀️)

The next time you are told to just “let it go” - please stop and take a breath.

The next time you hear yourself paraphrasing some jazzed-up insta meme to your friend “I’m just like, totally, gunna let it go, you know” - please stop and take a breath.

The next time you find yourself spiralling, berating yourself for being a failure, for not being able to “let go” of it/him/her/them/the thing/the situation/the memory/the relationship faster, better, more effectively - please stop and take a breath.

Please, just stop. Breathe.

Things you can actually let go of as a human:

- A dog lead whilst walking your dog

- An employee

- The rope in tug of war

Things you can not simply ‘let go’ of because a meme or personal development coach told you to:

- Suppressed emotion, trust issues and unworthiness causing the underlying core beliefs that are actually driving you to feel you need to ‘let go’ of XYZ (ie. your ex, that situation at work, that repeating pattern of self-sabotage of yours, your family member doing that thing again).

- Unresolved trauma that has shaped your nervous system into habits, behaviours, actions from self-protection, which are now likely causing a physiological *addiction* to the XYZ or pattern of XYZ which you wish to simply ‘let go’

- Attachment to the identity of who you are in relation to the relationship/situation/thing you wish to “let go” of

- Fear of who you will become on the other side of letting go of XYZ; fear about whether you will be safe, whether you will give away too much of your *power*, or whether it will be *too much* power for you to know what to do with

- Negative energy patterning causing the distortion in your field keeping you in a left-brain loop of fear-based rationality, parading as your identity

And the true energy-workers amongst us know. We know when you’ve said ‘yep I don’t need to work on that, I’ve let that go’ when you actually haven’t. We are highly-attuned to the incongruence in your field. We see it, we feel it, we sense it.

Here’s the thing.

We are energy (duh... we’re all across that by now, yeah?)

Chemistry 101:

No energy can be created or destroyed;

Only *transformed*

Thus, the concept of “letting go” in the realm of healing/thriving/evolving/living/loving is a fallacy.

If a professional is trying to sell you this **Without** The Emotional-Alchemy Frameworks + Tools to support you in understanding how to TRANSFORM the energy at the root of the person/pattern/situation/belief you wish to ‘let go’ -

I invite you to,

Please stop and take a breath -

And

back

away

slowly.

I mean, sprint the hell away if you want to.

If you have ALREADY been sold this idea and are sick of beating yourself up for being a failure of a human; for not having ‘let go’ of XYZ better.. for repeating cycles.. for knowing you wish to be *THERE* (which is usually not a destination of course rather YOU in your full power) but so frustrated at yourself because you keep looping around *HERE* (in your powerlessness, unhelpful patterns, and inner-war)...

Please know there is nothing wrong with you.

You have not failed.

You are not powerless.

Now you get to make a choice with this new awareness of how you will respond moving forward.

Similarly if you are a counsellor/coach/leader, utilising this phrase in your work *without providing the necessary emotional-alchemy training* no need to berate yourself. No doubt you’ve done the best you could with what you knew. It is time to get honest with yourself about the limitations of your practices, and source the *true* training you require to be of highest service to your clients/students/people.

So...

Let go of the dog lead, yes.

Let go of unresolved emotions without *TRUE* mastery or guidance in emotional-alchemy, no.

Just, no.

Originally written and published 12/01/2021

The Thing About “Making Our Dreams Come True”

So here’s the thing.

When you have a dream for your life,

You don’t at first have capacity to make that dream reality.

You just don’t.

It seems so bleeding obvious to me now.

Yet, sometimes we can hear something a hundred times in a hundred different ways - and we just won’t fully *get* it… until we do.

Quite often we need to experience it for our self.

This experience of dream building is fascinating to me…

It is the story of creation.

Individually and collectively.

It has been the most fulfilling experience of my life…

And at the core of everyone I’ve worked with… is the existence of their dreams.

Sometimes unacknowledged, sometimes suppressed, sometimes unknown.

Although I’m here to work in the field of mental health,

It is not mental health I’m passionate about.

It is inspiring and supporting others,

To set themselves free,

From the prisons of their mind,

By returning to their heart,

By bringing their dreams to life,

Which means knowing, embracing and expressing their truest self in the world.

It’s a beautiful thing.

I believe so much of our mental health challenges come from us living in a social world which suppresses our true self, which disconnects us from love and compassion, which doesn’t support us in knowing who we truly are and why we’re all here…

My dream for as long as I’ve known, is to help create a world where it is safe for us humans to wear our hearts on our sleeves.

A world where we understand emotions and the power of our mind - allowing us to treat our selves and each other with compassion.

A world where people don’t feel they need to take their lives to escape from the sadness, the isolation, the confusion, the pain, the oppression.

So this is what I now know through my experience (after reading it 1000 times 😅)…

When we have a dream for our life,

We don’t at first have capacity to make that dream reality.

It will feel “too big”…

That’s because it is.

It is too big for your human self in that moment of dreaming...

The version of you who has fulfilled the dream is vastly different to who you are now…

That’s the whole point.

An acorn knows deep down it is growing up to be an oak tree…

Just like deep inside us we have an inexplicable calling or knowing of who we’re here to grow up to be…

We too have a blueprint for our true self expression on this planet.

The difference between us and the acorn is,

The acorn doesn’t freak out when it’s tiny going “that’s too much, that’s too big, I can’t do this, how will I ever become that brilliant big oak tree vision I see, I think I need to be something different…”

Yet we do.

Firstly, we are so disconnected from our divine blueprint that our dreams are buried and suppressed…

They feel more like unrealistic fantasies.

We live in a society that calls us silly for dreaming and following our heart…

In this capitalist, consumer-based society where our value is extracted from us in terms of our productivity - we learn dreaming and creativity is irresponsible.

Then secondly, when we do (if we do) awaken from our soul-slumber to remember and truly acknowledge our own dream…

We then get ourselves into a tizz…

> Who am I to say I can do this?

> Will that even work?

> This makes no sense, should I do it?

Even when the dream inspires us greatly…

We doubt our capacity to bring it to life.

And so we should.

I wish someone had of told me this:

• It is normal for your calling to feel too big.

• It is normal to feel like you absolutely have no idea how you’re going to achieve your vision.

• It is normal to feel absolutely under-qualified and hopelessly out of your depths for your own dream.

Do it anyway!

Start somewhere, rather than nowhere.

Here’s the deal -

Feeling those things does not make you unworthy of the dream.

Feeling those things makes you ready.

You’re. Meant. To. Feel. Those. Things!

These feelings are not your indicator to shut down and put your dream on the shelf…

They are the mark of your beginning of a brave new adventure…

The whole point of the dream is not about the end result…

It’s about the brave new story you dare to tell.

It’s about who you get to become.

It’s about what you learn, what you impart, and who you meet along the way.

It’s about the help you have to ask for and the love you have to humbly receive in order to give as much as you desire.

It’s about you building capacity to chose trust, love, conviction and self-belief over fear again and again and again.

It’s about you inspiring others to remember who they truly are just through you daring to be who you truly are.

It’s about the expansion of consciousness occurring for you, through you, and because of you.

It’s a deeply mythical experience;

a deeply psychological, philosophical journey,

a battle against your own demons,

a stripping back of what is false,

a continual rebirth into your truth.

I believe our dreams are the gateway to our unique adventure of love in human form…

Trust them, trust yourself…

and you will come to know your uniquw true path in this life.

The truth is -

Many people do not have the courage to confront their own dream -

But what if we all did?

What would it mean for you… if you did?

“Everyone on earth has a treasure that awaits him,” his heart said. “We, people’s hearts, seldom say much about those treasures, because people no longer want to go in search of them. We speak of them only to children. Later, we simply let life proceed, in its own direction, toward its own fate. But, unfortunately, very few follow the path laid out for them—the path to their Personal Legends, and to happiness. Most people see the world as a threatening place, and, because they do, the world turns out, indeed, to be a threatening place.” - Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist